April 22, 2003

better, good, worse

standing before the mirror gazing over my goods i mutter, "no matter what it takes." why i get naked for myself i will never know. the mistakes and imperfections woven into me jump out with only my whites on. but i find that it's easier to be honest with myself at this moment. i don't find the need to lie. it's not until i dress to go out, that i cover up to protect. fully dressed, and i feel as cold and naked as i do in just my socks. why should i get better, why should i improve? i'm no longer that perfect tooth. i'm just spoiled milk. i look good till you take a sip.

why are sick people told to get better? as if they are bad at being healthy, and they need to change their wicked ways. i don't want to be good or even better for that matter. what's wrong with just being? you could be good looking, good hearted, good natured and still not me okay. you could have been a good child, have good manors, and never have a good job that will allow you to make a good income. what's the alternative? if the very worst thing happens can things really get worse? if you get defeated, and you be broken even more? why do we always say it can't get any worse...it always seems to anyway.

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