January 01, 2003

i will not

i will not be there for you,  anymore
    when you need it,      need me to
                              save you.
like i always do  from
                       yourself.  your fears. your fallen heroes.
the ones you create (for your self enjoyment)
                    how  else,
would you make it through
                           every day.
without something to cause yourself.(pain)

                               pain,
                             feeds you. causes
you to burn,      nourishes the imbalance
of everything. you cry on boys,
see in girls.     long to touch in the tiny children.
(that dance around you)  
           on sunny days
  in the parks.
when no one sees you.
        crying yourself.
                    into another corner.
 
          can't you break free!
can you break free?
                 will you always need,      everything
from me.       you have to go alone.
                        no one
    was made to be held
                       forever, and a day.   break if you
    must.       allow things to bleed,
             but
stop cutting it out of skin.
 
    you are done.  have been posted.
                      read for everything that you are.
    and we are all      waiting.
                           to see, what it is that we might see.
                   have seen.
 in times past,             when you were not so consumed
                    with your
               self destruction.
 
(i am) the one thing,
       that no one should have been able to take from you.
            stand up.
stop crying over something
                  you created           yourself.
                       take back the life you gave
                 to those that came to take it.
because,          (you)
are still the one that does not know
          her Worth.

before - after