June 02, 2003

jimborella

if i thought it would work i would just spit and throw bananas at all the people that come sniffing around you, but i think they would just stare at me. somehow making me the crazy one, and then i would be the one out of place. it wouldn't matter really, they don't see you for the real thing. so, how could they possibly see me for what i am?

i know one of these days someone will see how wonderful you are, i prepare myself for it everyday. i fear that you will leave me, i know my life would be pathetically boring if you did. at those moments i know i need to distance myself from you a bit more, because it's not fair for you to carry so much of my expectations.

i sound dramatically desperate do i not? i'm really not this bad. i just know what i have, and i value the time i have to spend with you. i'm overly protective of my things, and i know i don't share well with others....but that's only because they can't really be trusted. you are an amazing find, and i know that you wish someone would find you and love you. they will. i know that because the idea of it scares me, and i'm no sissy.

maybe one day you and i will find people like us that are wonderful and kind. or, maybe we will just have to kill off all the mean people and dance on their graves. then at least we would be the happy ones, and they would all be gone. it's something to think about.

before - after