September 13, 2002

Me

i look and see the vivid light behind the eyes of all those i wish that i could have been
wondering why i do not possess the same things that make them real
i must have been born to walk on the ground
to spend my life looking up at those that fly above me
free from the labels placed on those who live in this world
without barriers to make them less amazing then they truly could be

the rules of this world have kept me still for years
but my need to escape from their cage is surging inside
for i have been peaceful, calm in the fact that i am only what i am
but, i am tired of feeling as though i have become nothing of what i could have been
i cannot stomach that lie anymore
because i have heard my heart, listened to the sound of my childhood
the melody that sang of my triumphs, and left the taste of victory in my mouth
hearing that voice i remember what i was as a child
the thoughts that kept me who i was, when i climbed so many trees
conquered all my fears by rushing at them
leaping onto them with the will of a mighty warrior
i was a woman then, at such a young age

to know what you fear, and to be exactly want you are
it is something i learned from myself
i learned to take things as my own
angry as a savage at a world that would not stop telling me no
to rage against the things that cause me to undo myself
the things i have been unsure of for so long
because it is within me to find my way
to the source of all my undoing
to the me i have not seen for so many years
and when i find me
i will make sure i do not loose myself again

before - after