April 14, 2003

www.womenforwomen.org

i've been sitting here chipping away at my ruby red nail polish wondering if i've missed out on something. somehow i have been able to by pass the patriotic bug, and find it unreal that we are at war. i support our troops if for no other reason then that they are ours. growing up is picking the lesser of two evils, and i think we choose correctly but it still feels so foreign to me.

i stopped watching the news 3 weeks ago. i found it pointless to watch step by step as we marched across these peoples land. as we took their country, and then left it behind. i'm not sure there will be anything left for them when we go home. there was not much to save, other then people. now america, the empty nation, is expected to give back to a group of people alive on so little.

a year ago i opened a diary expecting myself to keep it open at least one year. on the year anniversary i did something to make a difference for someone else. last december i adopted a woman in a third world country who needed financial support. i send $25 each month to her and her 4 children, and i'm not allowed to send more. each woman is given the same amount, $25, and is assisted by the organization to develop a craft that will help to generate a business. this business could be farming honey, or buying bulk food and breaking it down for individual purchase. regardless of the business, each woman is given 3-5 years to be in the program before she is expected to graduate, and become a sponsor.

we are allowed to write to each other. the addresses are confidential, but our letters are translated through the organization. it's been 4 months, and i can't think of what to write to her. she wrote me about a week ago. her husband was killed leaving her to raise her kids. she thanks me for helping, and for giving her hope. she wants me to write her. i'm uncomfortable with her request, i'm not sure what to say. in her letter she said, "how wonderful it is that you would giving up so much to help someone you do not even know." how glad i am that she does not know how little i must give up in america to help someone in her position.

before - after